what even is womanhood?
what does my own womanhood mean to me? and how has my view on womanhood evolved?
with the current administration pushing legislation to restrict, control, silence, and harm women and the LGBTQIA+ community and the onslaught of anti-trans rhetoric, it’s made me think about my own experience as a woman in america. there’s been a lot of conversation about who is a woman, what being a woman means, and also who has the power to decide that. transwomen, transpeople, gender fluid people, nonbinary people are NOT a threat to anyone’s identity as a woman or womanhood in general! and if your gender identity and identity of self in general is so reliant upon discrimination of others and exclusion of that which you fear, then i would highly suggest you do some reflection as to why your identity is so fragile. to be a woman, or man, or a person is wholeheartedly up to you. you define who you are and what that means.
although i have always “felt like a woman”, i’ve definitely come into friction with what that really means. i’ve been frustrated and betrayed by my own identity and as i’ve grown up, my relationship and understanding of gender has evolved. it’s great that these conversations are becoming normalized as more and more seek to break out of the patriarchal constraints. rather than foaming at the mouth over socially constructed gender norms, we should be focusing on the humanity; the personhood; holistic entirety of a person. ideally, we would let people express themselves without labels, but since we haven’t gotten there yet, here’s my journey being a woman so far:
before i had the language and vocabulary to describe my feelings, i instinctively felt the differential treatment given to boys and girls. to my little self, it was confusing and frustrating and it just didn’t feel right. my family seemed to be matriarchal and i grew up hearing girls can do anything boys can and generally how great women are. but as older generations do, they themselves hadn’t quite escaped the grasp of patriarchy and although they voiced their support for equality, their actions would be contradictory. it was confusing to see the celebration of womanhood yet the few men in my family seemed to be put on a pedastal, always on top, no matter how successful, intelligent, or accomplished the women were. although i didn’t feel like i wanted to be man, i yearned for the respect and treatment afforded to the men in my family.
i was maybe in like 4th grade when i decided there were 3 kinds of girls; girly girls, just girls, and tomboys - and i was just a girl. it felt like the perfect balance to encompass all my interests because even though i liked playing outside and catching tadpoles, i also liked to paint my nails and dress up. being a girly girl or a tomboy felt to extreme in either direction, just a girl felt just right as i was searching for explanations and reasoning, trying to make sense of it all - trying to find where i fit in all that.
with time and life experiences, i have a better understanding of the various power dynamics in the world and have a sense of understanding of where i fit in - but more importantly realizing it’s less important to me to fit into a mold. i see beauty in womanhood, in our collective perserverance and strength. in a way, it’s made me more spiritual as i feel a deep rooted, sacred connection to mother earth, tying me to women.
currently, my womanhood is: trusting myself, speaking up without fear or shame, having self-confidence, having fun, indulging my creative ideas, allowing open self-expression. feeling inner alignment and love. my womanhood is feeling emotions deeply, loving deeply. my womanhood is complex and nuanced.
my womanhood is finding community and connection with other women and gender-non-conforming people, learning from each other, inspiring each other. my womanhood is standing up for each other, for keeping the door open behind me, believing women.
in the past when i’ve tried to distance myself from femininity and womanhood, but it was never about not wanting to be a woman, rather the desire to exist and be valued and respected in the same way we afford men. part of growing up, is realizing that i have intrinsic value that doesn’t require external validation. not only do i not need that, but i dont want respect or validation from people who don’t already see me as equal, as human - if i need to bend and twist and deform myself to earn their respect, i don’t want it. my womanhood is thriving despite living in a patriarchy. my womanhood is breathing life and love into the world.
a longing. deep. sacred. ancetral. i was there, when the earth was born. i was there, with the first mother. they cut us down, but our roots are deep. you can burn us, you can lock us up, but we are humanhind we are the creators. &this is why i know, god. is a woman
Ren
what does womanhood mean to you?