the yapper chronicles | 3
a series of curated lists, musings, and monthly round ups. stay and yap a while!
#3
i was doing some journaling for the new moon and one of the main themes was finding stability amidst change - a mantra i’ve been living by since tr**p officially took office and then once again when i was unfortunately laid off due to his budget cuts. as he and his cronies have completely flipped this country upside in the blink of an eye, stability has been completely thrown out the window. entire industries are being wiped out, the world doesn’t trust us, our economy is tanking, red pill incels and trad wives or whatever are on the rise. how do you plan for the future when the future i knew is dead? i’ve been doing small things, like continuing to wake up and give myself a schedule/tasks for the day so i don’t wallow. but i continue to grapple with “what ifs” of the future. although everything has changed, very little has, i feel catastrophic as i continue with my daily walks, scouring linkedin, scrolling on tiktok, all of these normal things. yet i also feel enveloped by the uncertainty of the future - now more than ever i’m reminded that stability is always a bit of a fallacy, but i have to admit the comfort in the false sense of security. so again, confronted with finding stability amidst the chaos, trusting myself despite it all (drafting a post just on this actually so stay tuned!). don’t have an answer yet, but it’s certainly something on my mind a lot.
alright, besides an existential crisis - april really FLEW by for me! did it feel that way for any of you? i booked a trip to nyc to visit my friends before i was laid off and it was non refundable so off to nyc i went! i was SO happy being back. i missed my friends so much. i missed being able to walk everywhere/take the subway. i missed having such an incredible variety of food at my fingertips. i missed seeing all kinds of people and the fashion. i missed the energy and vibe. it was a breath of fresh air to walk in my old neighborhood, settled right back into home.
this summer is about to take off. up next: may aka my birthday month!! happy birthday to me!!
faves from april
my a.m. fruit smoothie
it’s such a simple little joy in my life. it’s just a strawberry/banana mix with a scoop of vanilla protein and water. but i haven’t gotten sick of it yet and i drink it every single day. i seriously love fruit so much. but it’s getting more expensive and sometimes it’s sad when the fruit is so inconsistent in taste. i feel like this is a solid way of still consuming fruit daily and that it literally always tastes good. maybe i’ll switch up the flavor, but for now strawberry/banana it is.
The Residence
this was a solid show. i enjoyed the cinematography, the bird metaphors, that is was a murder mystery but not too heavy or gory (although i do enjoy those too, sometimes i just need a bit of break). i really had no idea who the killer was - even until the end! it was fun to discover the stories and inconsistencies as we went through the interogations. POTENCH SPOILER: i have to admit that i didn’t love who the killer was. i thought the motive was lackluster and random? like yes, they did have a motive, but the other “finalists” had stronger motives? i felt like it was just a twist to be a twist. maybe i’m missing something, maybe it was supposed to further how non-sensical murder is or that the culprit was just that shallow? idk besides that i enjoyed the show a lot!
homemade jam
we made jam and it was way easier than i thought! time escaped us a bit this month, but i deff want to get more into this and try out other flavors. we made strawberry jam and a raspberry/habanero.
bad bunny’s tiny desk
no words. just so good.
comfort music
i’ve been on a big børns/arctic monkeys/tame impala-type-beat of music vibe. summer is coming and i wanna listen to music that feels like pool-side, the smell of sunscreen, warm summer evening breeze driving with the windows down. thinking back to summer 2016 and that’s the vibe i’m going for this year.
thoughts and musing
an early april evening, we were driving to the grocery store. huge, dark, looming clouds rolled across the tucson sky, quickly enveloping the sunny day in an instant. the wind whirled through and the showers scattered. we chased a double rainbow between bursts of rain to the grocery store. we walked out intending to go to grocery store #2 but were greeted with a vibrant pink and orange sky. i couldn’t stop admiring it. i wanted to drive into it and be consumed in the beauty and radiance. you understood the mission and next thing i know, we’re speeding down roads trying to get closer, to see through the rows of houses and power lines, trying to find an unobstructed view. seeing it wasn’t enough, how do i feel it absorb through my skin and sink into my very soul. i would bottle it up and drink it. equally wanted to be consumed and consume it. monsoon, i am so excited to meet you! in all of your chaos and destruction.
spring has sprung, life renews. may feels big and bright!
Ren