gratitude for my slow mornings
amidst the chaos, making time for a slow mornings is a luxury i don't take for granted.
my ideal morning routine has always been slow. for a while it’s been unattainable; commute time, wanting to sleep in, working 2-3 hours ahead of my time zone - so many things were getting in the way, including myself. slowly waking up, romanticizing the morning, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, serenity. i’ve made small attempts, like making coffee with my stovetop espresso instead of my mr coffee on the weekends. but in trying to find slowness, i instead found laziness and it would take me forever to get going on the weekends - much longer than i intended. with my last job, i was working east coast hours while on mountain time, and while my manager was flexible it was still hard to push working past 8 am my time, making a slow morning difficult but i determined to make it work.
this year, i began in earnest to cultivate and bring to life my ideal morning. it started with no more scrolling in bed, then no more news first thing, then classical/instrumental music only, then a morning page.
i’m proud to say that i’ve been sticking to this ritual pretty regularly for a little over 2 months. and now that i have the luxury of time, my slow morning ritual has not only provided a time to pause and reflect, it’s helped me maintain a bit of structure, stability, and routine.
ambiance:
the ritual:
every morning, or just about, i get up (no phone!!) and brush my teeth, wash my face, change out of my pjs (strictly for the bed), and pour myself the first cup of coffee. i then sit down at my desk and write. just one page in my leuchtturm1917 classic, softcover, dotted b5 - to be exact. the full date: day of the week, month, day, year, goes at the very top, centered in cursive. and then ink flows freely. admittedly some days are easier than others, some days i literally write that “i dont know what to write” but eventually the page will be completed. sometimes letting myself express the uncertainty and brain block is just what i need to continue. there’s no rules for this page, it’s not supposed to be good/well-written/profound or anything of the sort. next is filling in my sleep tracker in my hobonichi weeks. and finally, tasks and schedule for the day in my moleskine. this has helped keep me accountable for job hunting, completing my certificate courses, and even just making sure i’m going on walks, doing chores, etc. although my days are much more flexible and low stakes right now, i still love being able to check things off my to-do list.
slowing down in the morning and letting myself wake up physically and mentally has, i think, helped with my stress and anxiety levels. the world is chaotic enough and i’m an already quite an anxious person, let’s slow the roll a bit and regulate that nervous system. slow down and physically write out a page, feel the cramps in my hand, feel the writing block, feel the laziness of not wanting to do it, feel the satisfication once it’s done, release the residual thoughts and feelings and reset for the new day.
the news will still be there, there is nothing urgent on tiktok or instagram, and seriously stay the hell away from linkedin at this hour!! this time is for me. especially while i’m funemployed, i’m going to continue to take full advantage of this slower pace of life while i can. who knows how long i’ll have this time, who know how long i’ll have this sense of peace. it’s harder to find moments like this - so embrace it.
it’s not lost on me how luxurious it is to have this time to myself without other responsibilties pulling my attention or getting in the way. while i’m sure my morning routine will change once again when i get another job (soon fingers crossed) it’s also become a priority to have something. it’ll adapt with me but feeling grounded in the morning is priceless.
Ren